“I just don’t want to talk to you any more.
Just buzz off!”: I messaged him on Whatsapp.
My phone beeped a few seconds later: “Me
too! It’s getting disgusting. I can’t take all these any more. Bye” I got this
reply from him.
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How could he write this? How dare he? What
does he think of himself? I mumbled it grumpily, switched off my phone and
threw it aside. I took my pillow and went to sleep!
---------------------------------------
And it was another fight of ours this month. I guess the fourth or the fifth one. Or, the sixth one I guess. Actually I had lost count with so many fights of us happening every single week. Fights are quite common with us. Since the time we are together, we have done PhD in fighting if you may say so. Still, somehow, we are together! Even I think about it at times. Our fights get quite serious at times. So serious, that either of us even plan to take a break and not to see each other in the days to come. But again things change! Something happens which keeps us together. Don’t know what it is. Probably it is the string which keeps us as one. Probably we are meant to be together. But you know what, these fights literally kill me from inside at times. He was true! It gets disgusting. But again, we didn't have any solution!
And it was another fight of ours this month. I guess the fourth or the fifth one. Or, the sixth one I guess. Actually I had lost count with so many fights of us happening every single week. Fights are quite common with us. Since the time we are together, we have done PhD in fighting if you may say so. Still, somehow, we are together! Even I think about it at times. Our fights get quite serious at times. So serious, that either of us even plan to take a break and not to see each other in the days to come. But again things change! Something happens which keeps us together. Don’t know what it is. Probably it is the string which keeps us as one. Probably we are meant to be together. But you know what, these fights literally kill me from inside at times. He was true! It gets disgusting. But again, we didn't have any solution!
When I talk to my friends about this, they
laugh it off! For them, fights add spice to a relationship. It makes a bond
stronger and grows love! Bullshit! They don’t know how much it hurts. How much
it pains. And moreover, how much bad it makes one think about the other. Whenever
we fight and I curse him on my mind, it makes me feel good! But again when
things get right, I feel guilty of thinking such things about him all of a
sudden! Is it good to feel that bad, that harsh, and that ruthless about the
one whom we say we love? Yes it’s fine that we feel these when we fight but
still. Doesn't loving someone means loving them even when he/she is not with us?
But who cares! We fight and we curse. We
cry and we talk shit about each other. We swear not to call him/her again ever
in life. We promise ourselves of not to see each other’s faces again. But how
many times do we actually follow this? Never! Then why these fights? Who says
that fights add spice and for God’s sake, why would a fight add spice? I mean,
this is absolute non sense. The people who say this are the ones who probably
are not in a serious relationship. Or the ones who might not know what is the
true worth of a relationship. We choose our partners ourselves; nobody forces
us to be together. Then why that same person annoys us so much that we end up
fighting it out and saying hurtful things to each other? Why don’t we simply
remember that each one of us is unique? We look different, we were born in
different circumstances, our skin colour differs, our thoughts differ, and we
are absolutely different from each other. Then why can’t we simply accept the
other one? Why is it so hard for us to see each other’s weaknesses? Why?
----------------------------------
I woke up next morning at around
8.30! I searched for my phone beside my pillow, under the pillow, with my eyes
still closed. I didn’t find it! I then remembered that I had thrown it last
night somewhere on the bed but where, I didn’t know yet! I sat down on my bed
and found out the phone below the blanket. I wanted to see the time but
suddenly I realised that it was switched off. I switched it on, the phone
beeped thrice. He had sent me 3 messages. All of them with a ‘sorry’ in the
end. I smiled! I felt good, refreshed. I called him up and then started getting
ready for office.
So, our sixth fight was over! Maybe next
week we will fight again. May be we won’t! But I still wonder that how did
these fights add spice to this relationship? How can it add spice anyway? What exactly is this 'spice' all about? We had ended the fight and our
relationship was back to normal. Then where’s the spice? Where was that
something ‘new’ in this relationship? It was nowhere! The only thing we have is
another add-on to the list of our fights and somewhere in our hearts guilt of
thinking bad about each other for that very moment when our fight was at its
peak!
May be that's how things work! May be that's how it should be! May be that's the way we are! Phew!
